The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions

And now a Bafoon's meeting with
 The Dean of Admissions at a prostigeous college
 Well Micheal i'd like to extend my warmest
 congradulations on you're up comming graduation
 and I understand you're interested in matriculating
 here in fall
 I got a snake man!
 Yes pets are welcome here on campus be at
 a dog, or cat and even the occasional reptile.
 One time i fed it some beer man, it was slivering
 this way and that! It was all fucked up!
 I'm sure it was.Well we discourage inapropriate
 drinking among both students AND pets here on campus
 FUCKING SHIT!
 Yes, that's a not-uncommon reaction to this policy.
 So tell me a little bit more about you're background.
 My father's a fucking ass hole man!
 Hmm, I see. Your fellings of rebellion
 are not unusual at your age son.
 My mother's a piece of shit too!
 Well I hope you can find an outlet for you're hostility
 over the summer... So you can come to school in the fall
 relaxed and ready to learn.
 My teacher in High School was a stupid bitch man!
 She had her head way up her ass!
 Well the quality of the faculty of the university such as ours
 far exceeds that of a public high school.
 You're secratery is a real fat bitch man!
 Yes she tried many diets over the years with minimal success.
 I had diearhea last month, I had to shit all fucking day!
 Uh huh... Well we all get the ocasional stomach bug,
 never a pleasurable experience... So, have you given
 any though to your choise of major?
 I got a big fucking boner right now!
 Um.I see. Well sexual arousal is not uncommon during
 periods of nervous tension, I don't take offence.
 One time I ate my neighbour's shit!
 It's understandable. Well I enjoyed meeting you and
 we'll send you our descision at the end of the month.
 I bet you have really harry balls!
 Yes.It's a heritable forest down there.Bye-Bye.