Internet Song

Gather round kids
 I'll tell you all some stories of what
 Life was like before the internet
 We wandered round
 Our neighborhoods aimlessly
 Lighting shit on fire and smoking cigarettes
 And your dad
 Probably tried pot
 If he said he didn't then he is a liar
 He met your mom
 When she was passed out on the floor at a party
 And that's why they don't let you outside
 Oh gather round kids
 I'll tell you all some stories
 Of what it was like before Facebook ruined everything
 We went to concerts
 To watch the performers
 Not staring at a livestream on our cell phone screens
 We did nice things for each other
 Without posting about it on our status
 We got in fights
 And beat the crap out of eachother
 With our fists instead of through nasty comments
 Gather round kids
 I'll tell you all some stories of
 What it was like before Instagram ruined pictures
 We used cameras and got the film developed
 And people couldn't even hide behind filters
 Now your dad is looking at porn on Tumblr
 And your mom is cheating on your dad through Tindr
 Swipe right
 Does anyone remember
 The days when we used to like to go outside?
 Gather round kids
 I'll tell you all some stories of
 What life was like before the internet
 We wandered round
 Our neighborhoods aimlessly
 Lighting shit on fire and smoking cigarettes
 And your dad
 Took a bunch of acid
 Met your mom
 And they cut all of their classes
 Went to a party and conceived you on the floor
 And that's why they don't let you outside anymore
 Yea that's why we don't let kids outside