The Dirtiest Song That Ain't

Well I been around for a long time
 And I learned along the way
 If you wanna go on the radio
 There are words you just can't say
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 Now I thought hard about it
 And I found a way around it
 Help me go on the radio
 You gotta say the words I can't
 You got to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song that ain't
 Come on, ma'am! Won't you gimme a hand?
 And say the words I can't?
 You got to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song that ain't
 ♪
 Down in Carolina
 I met a girl with a nice
 So I reached down between us
 And I whipped out my
 We skipped right past the sucking
 And got right down to
 She turned and said, "I gotta ask
 Would you slip it into my"
 Help me go on the radio
 And say the words I can't
 You got to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song that ain't!
 Come on, ma'am! Won't you gimme a hand?
 And say the words I can't?
 You got to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song that ain't!
 Her husband was a trucker
 He was a filthy mother
 I didn't want to wrassle
 With this no good stinkin'
 I heard him come through the kitchen door
 While I was banging his filthy
 I knew I'd end up in a ditch
 If he caught me riding his
 Help me go on the radio
 And say the words I can't
 You got to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song that ain't!
 Come on, ma'am! Won't you gimme a hand?
 And say the words I can't?
 You got to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song that ain't!
 ♪
 "Mercy, please!" I told him
 But he grabbed me by the
 And he did something heinous
 He exposed his
 I said, "I don't mean to seem crass
 But why are you buttering up your"
 He said, "My wife's a beard and she lured you here
 Because I'm queer and I love it in the"
 You helped me go on the radio
 By saying the words I can't
 You had to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song that ain't!
 Sir and ma'am, thanks for lending a hand
 By saying the words I can't
 You had to sing along to make this song
 The dirtiest song
 The filthiest song
 The dirtiest song that ain't!