The King Speaks

The King is now stepping out into the balcony, to the cheers of the crowd. He is wearing the royal cape and crown,
 and seems to be in good health.
 His mustache is in excellent condition this morning,
 Which of course is a good sign for an early spring.
 He is now getting ready to speak
 My dear citizens
 Today is a great day for me,
 And therefore, of course, for the whole kingdom."
 I have the great privilege to announce that the royal enema has been carried through with success,
 And that my Majesty is no longer constipated
 Naturally, this is particularly good news for the peasantry in our beautiful country
 and we ought to expect excellent productivity out of the fields.
 Furthermore
 I took a bath this morning.
 The crowd cheers
 The bath was warm, dignified, and reinvigorating.
 And I look forward to see what the Royal Brewery will be able to achieve with my Majesty's royal residue
 Very well, that was all for today
 Now, it's time for volleyball
 Live well, my citizens
 God save the King