You Still Believe in Me?

I came in from the storm and the television's on.
 As celebrities enact fictionalized tales.
 How could my boring life compete?
 And I thought about the drugs,
 how I thought they fixed my brain,
 until I was in the dark
 rattling containers, scribbling garbage to myself:
 I need constant attention or else I'm gonna get distracted
 but even if you tell me something I can't guarantee I'm listening.
 I hear "BA BA BA BA BA"
 I've never been in love but I saw Brian Wilson once.
 I was drunk and screamed too loud over the falsetto in "You Still Believe in Me."
 And I thought about the way his catastrophes made everything okay
 'till I watched the fire fade and former dayglo embers turned to ashy greys and blacks.
 One exhausted triple encore, unplugged bass around his neck.
 I know fires can last forever, but I need to find a match 'cause these days, fuck, I'm tired.
 I used to be an awesome listener.
 But now I just drift in and out or get pulled away by beats and measures
 like I don' t have a choice but failure and running from a brighter future.
 It's never take me back 'cause I'm not sorry
 For all the times I ran away or wasted my vacation days.
 It's something I can't bring myself to say.
 I need constant attention or else I'm gonna get distracted
 but even if you tell me something I can't guarantee I'm listening.
 and these days, fuck, I'm tired.
 I used to be an awesome listener.
 But now I just drift in and out or get pulled away by beats and measures
 like I don' t have a choice but failure and running from a brighter future.
 And all the times I ran away or wasted my vacation days.
 It's something I can't bring myself to say.