The Irishman Who Doesn't Drink (Live!)

Now listen all it's hard to think
 of an Irishman who doesn't drink
 and if you'd thought you'd found one
 you would surely wonder why
 the drink is good the drink is bad
 but drink won't tell you what you've had
 so look at me and all be sad
 for that Irishman tis I
 Me father drank, His father drank,
 whose father drank, for his father's sake,
 me Family tree could surely tap
 a Guinness factory for sure...
 Now me uncle was a handsome lad,
 He's married more than five men had,
 But his ailment wasn't all that bad,
 For in drink he's found the cure
 Me sister who does love to read,
 and loves to drink her favorite mead,
 to understate she's well-studied,
 In mead a doctorate in.
 Me Cousin lives near Tennesseee,
 His favorite drink of course JD
 But his lawyer could not well agree
 that it was his next of Kin
 When grandmither was very young,
 She'd play at her granddad's for fun,
 By riding all the day among,
 The horses she did tell.
 Now her granddad used to gamble drunk,
 He beat a Carny's boat that sunk,
 And won some holdings, not all junk.
 Cause he kept the Carousel.
 I do not drink, I do not smoke,
 I don't cavort with women folk,
 Well maybe... just a little
 I've a liberal view of sin.
 Now ladies are my vice tis true
 I like to see them through and through
 And when I see no more to do...
 Well then with drinking I'll begin.