Potential People

Jack is just an average teenage boy
 Whose father always told him, as he'd smack poor Jack to scold him
 That a body is a tool, and not a toy
 "Never touch yourself down here, no matter what you do!"
 Said Father, grabbing Jack, and almost shaking him in two
 But late one night when all of the house was quiet
 Jack got awful curious as to what made Dad so furious
 And decided he would go ahead and try it
 Every night behind the bathroom door
 Squatting on his haunches, he lunges forth and launches
 A thick genetic mess upon the floor
 Once again, the liquid legions fly
 A quivering cascade condemned to die
 And they wilt for a while on the porcelain tile
 Dead and drying as they're trying, in a wet white pile of foam
 To be home again, back in the sac, as they curdle and crack
 All because of a jerk called Jack
 Floating in the Xs and the Ys
 Spasm after spasm of perfect protoplasm
 As half a future genius slowly dies
 Once again, the liquid legions fly
 A quivering cascade condemned to die
 And they wilt for a while on the porcelain tile
 Dead and drying as they're trying, in a wet white pile of foam
 To be home again, back in the sac, as they curdle and crack
 All because of a jerk called Jack
 Breaking down the doors with flailing fists
 The Eagle Forum has landed, and jack is caught red-handed
 By a midnight mob of Catholic activists
 "You've spilled the seed of God!" the leader whines
 And she incites the night's stampeeding
 Till our boy lies bruised and bleeding
 While they gird his groin with planks and protest signs
 Then as quickly as they'd come, the gang was gone
 No more jacking Jack upon the john