Girls! Girls! Girls!

Step right up!
 We bring to you the finest entertainment
 And I am pleased to be your humble servant
 Accept our hospitality
 Indulge in abnormality
 Step right up!
 We've something here for everyone's enjoyment
 I do this as a gift—not for employment
 A portrait of insanity
 Approached with pure humanity
 Come see our girls! Crazy girls!
 If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
 Those girls! Crazy girls!
 They're hot! They're nuts! They're suicidal!
 Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
 And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
 To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
 Come see the girls! Girls! Girls!
 Some of them are really quite attractive as you'll see
 And some are truly hideous—I'm sure that you'll agree
 While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me
 But you mustn't let them fool you!
 Just one more rule:
 You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye
 That one, let's just keep walking by
 These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply
 So grab another cup of tea and follow me
 To see the girls! Crazy girls!
 If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
 Those girls! Crazy girls!
 They're hot! They're nuts! They're suicidal!
 Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
 And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
 To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
 Come see the girls! Girls! Girls!
 Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide?
 For a penny more, go on and ask! We've nothing here to hide
 Quiet down! You, sir!
 If insanity's primarily a femininish malady
 And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact
 Then, according to the medics, have they faultier genetics?
 Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?
 It's all to do with reproductive organs
 Which are naturally unstable in a dame
 You see, from lunar we have lunacy and lunatic and loony
 And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony
 I have a question!
 Shoot!
 Has any patient ever been released?
 Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior were decreased?
 For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce
 So, while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose!
 Come see the girls! Crazy girls!
 If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
 Those girls! Crazy girls!
 They're hot! They're nuts! They're suicidal!
 Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
 And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
 To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
 Come see the girls! Girls! Girls!
 Some are born mad
 Some achieve madness
 And some have madness thrust upon them!
 This is the real thing my friends
 Guaranteed, one hundred percent, authentic, mentally ill!
 Accept no imitations!
 For a little extra on the side
 We can arrange for a slightly more "intimate" encounter
 Wink wink
 For a tuppence, just a tuppence
 A handful of pills to feed the inmates!
 We've got pills for depression, obsession
 Aggression, possession, indiscretion
 There's a bloody pill for everything nowadays!
 How big is a lady's brain?
 It's really very, very small
 A simple thought is quite a strain!
 This seems just a bit inhumane
 That's just a simple little shock
 It doesn't cause her any pain
 You see, they're really more like animals than people
 Which has been proven haven't any souls at all
 The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior
 And these are only useful in a seedy music hall
 They don't bite. Well, she might
 I say, this one does look hungry tonight!
 So get your picture with an inmate
 But be sure she's locked up tight!
 They're practically wild, sir!
 Protect your child, sir!
 They don't recall the taste of freedom
 They're just happy if we feed 'em
 So point and laugh, it isn't bad
 They oughtn't mind because they're mad!
 If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls!
 You're welcome to enjoy our girls!
 Crazy girls!
 If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride!
 Those girls! Crazy girls!
 We're hot!
 They're hot!
 We're nuts!
 They're nuts!
 They're (we're) suicidal!
 Tickets cheap! It's a crime!
 And they're half price after four o'clock so toss us a dime
 To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time!
 I've got a lot more words to say
 But I just can't make'em rhyme
 So ladies, let this be a lesson to ya
 Keep your hair uncut
 Your corsets tight
 Your morals high
 Your knitting neat
 Your yapper shut
 This is what comes of overeducating
 Mentally overstimulating
 Too much serious conversating
 Organized religion hating
 Sinful unwed copulating
 Marriage without procreating
 Girl on girl caught lesbiating
 She was caught while masturbating!
 Male mind manipulating
 Chronically hallucinating
 Certainly there's no debating
 Some we just find fascinating!
 Women's rights facilitating
 Independent thought creating
 She just may be complicating
 Get your money out, we're waiting!
 To see those girls!
 Girls!
 Girls!