Miss Lucy Had Some Leeches (Live)

Miss Lucy had some leeches
 Her leeches liked to suck
 And when they drank up all her blood
 She didn't give a
 Funny when the doctors
 Had locked her in her cell
 Miss Lucy screamed all night that they
 Should go to bloody
 Hello to the surgeon
 With scalpel old and blunt
 He'll tie you to the table
 Then he'll mutilate your
 Come it's nearly teatime
 The lunatics arrive
 The keepers bleed them all until
 There's no one left a
 Lively little rodents
 Are eaten up by cats
 We're subject to experiments
 Like laboratory
 Rats I've dropped a teacup
 How easily they break
 I'm on my hands and knees until
 I pay for my mis-
 Take off all your clothing
 We've only just begun
 We have no anesthesia
 It's eighteen forty
 One thing we should tell you
 Before you try again
 The tests are invented by
 A lot of filthy
 Mentally hysteric
 She's failed the exam
 Don't bother telling Lucy for
 She doesn't give a
 Damn that's nitrous oxide
 For when you can't escape
 They say the surgeons oft commit
 A murder or a
 Razor-blades are rusty
 And not a lot of fun
 So when they try to amputate
 Your legs you'd better
 Run and fetch the chemist
 A patient's feeling sad
 She's been in chains for ages
 And she isn't even
 Madness is a nuisance
 And no one is immune
 Your sister, mum or daughter
 May become a raving
 Lunatics are dangerous
 And doctors are obeyed
 They also go together just
 Like toast and marma-
 Ladies are like children
 With brains the size of squirrels
 Let's give a clitoridectomies
 To all the little
 Girls are helpless treasures
 That daddies must protect
 So lie upon the table
 For the doctors to in-
 Speculums are super
 And stirrups all the rage
 So spread a lady's legs and then put her
 Back in to her
 Cage of naked crazies
 The surgeon's here to bleed
 The doctors are all learned men
 And some can even
 Reading can be risky
 For women on the verge
 It only did us worlds of good
 To poison, leech and
 Purging is a penance
 Phlebotomy's a chore
 No need to sterilize the tools
 We never did be-
 Fore the night is over
 Before you go to bed
 They'll take a hammer and nail
 And jam it in your
 Headstones in the courtyard
 And statues in the park
 Are not for the insane
 Just leave them rotting in the
 D A R K
 dark
 dark
 dark
 dark
 dark