Visions

Bits of conversation
 Fill my head
 Tangling with words
 We haven't said
 Glimpses of a movement you once made
 Knowing I could live
 But dream instead
 Wondering if you saw the part I played
 Whether I'm the reason
 That you stayed
 Only half believing it could be
 Well aware I want
 What I forbade
 Questioning my own reality
 Doubting in my mind
 The things I see
 Altering perception fast as light
 Do you know for years you've haunted me?
 Speaking words you never could recite
 Giving bliss as if to test my flight
 All is but illusion
 This I know
 Yet more felt than objects in my sight
 The world may see my skin
 But just below
 Simmers what I think
 But never show
 Lifetimes lived with you but more than this
 Guessing where in your sweet dreams you go
 Do you drown in memory's abyss?
 Is there music
 In a voice you miss?
 When you close your eyes do you relive
 Each averted glance
 Aborted kiss?
 Do you harbor what you should forgive?
 Search for signs
 In every narrative?
 Or repel all company save one
 Who is not cure but palliative?
 While it's possible these things you've done
 All too likely I'm the only one
 And upon this thought
 My vision fled
 So I end back where I had begun
 Nothing but the present
 Fills your head
 Forgetting more than half the things I've said
 Shadows
 Of a sacrifice you made
 Knowing you could dream
 But live instead