Asshole

Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain
 An asshole, that role I think I succeeded fulfillin'
 But don't think I ever stopped
 To think that I was speakin' to children
 Everything was happenin' so fast
 It was like I blinked—sold three million
 Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous
 'Cause I was gettin' sick of this feelin'
 Like I'm always under attack, man
 I could have stacked my shit list to the ceilin'
 Women dishin' but really thinkin'
 "If anyone ever talks to one of my little girls like this I would kill him."
 Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' shit
 But since when did this many people ever give a shit
 What I had to say? It's just my opinion
 If it contradicts how I'm livin', put a dick in your rear end
 That's why every time you mentioned a lyric
 I thanked you for it, for drawin' more attention toward it
 'Cause it gave me an enormous platform
 I'm flattered you thought I was that important
 But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect
 And battled for it, mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed
 Atta-boy, they told me to slow down, I'd just zone out
 Good luck tryin' to convince a blonde
 It's like tellin' Gwen Stefani she sold out
 'Cause I was tryna leave no doubt
 In anyone's mind, one day I'd go down in history
 Think they know now because everybody knows
 Everybody knows
 That you're just an asshole
 Everywhere that you go
 People wanna go home, everyone knows
 Everybody knows
 So don't pretend to be nice
 There's no place you can hide
 You are just an asshole
 Everyone knows, everyone knows
 Thanks for the support, asshole! *scratch*
 Thanks for the support, asshole!
 Quit actin' salty! I was countin' on you to count me out
 Ask Asher Roth when he roundabout
 Dissed me to shout me out
 Thought I was history, well goddamn, honky
 That compliment's like backhandin' a donkey
 Good way to get your ass socked in the mouth
 Nah, I'm off him
 But what the fuck's all this trash-talkin' about?
 The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me
 You knocked me down, I went down for the count
 I fell, but the fans caught me, and now
 You're gonna have to beat the fuckin' pants off me
 To take my belt—word to Pacquiao
 Momma said there ain't nothin' else to talk about
 Better go in that ring and knock 'em out
 Or you better not come out
 It's poetry in motion
 Like Freddie Roach when he's quotin' Shakespeare
 So what if insults are revoltin'?
 Even Helen Keller knows life stinks
 You think it's a joke 'til you're bullet-riddled
 But you should give little shit what I think
 This whole world is a mess
 Gotta have a goddamn vest on your chest
 And a Glock just to go watch Batman
 Who needs to test a testicles? Not that man
 Half of you don't got the guts, intestinal blockage
 Rest of you got lap bands
 Stuck to this motto 'fore they put bath salts
 And all those water bottles in Colorado, so get lost, Waldo
 My soul's escapin' through this asshole that is gapin'
 A black hole and I'm swallowin' this track whole
 Better pack toilet paper, but I'm takin' no crap, ho
 Here I go down the Bat Pole
 And I'm changin' back into that old maniac
 In fact, there they go tryna dip out the back door retreatin'
 'Cause everybody knows
 Everybody knows
 That you're just an asshole
 Everywhere that you go
 People wanna go home, everyone knows
 Everybody knows
 So don't pretend to be nice
 There's no place you can hide
 You are just an asshole
 Everyone knows, everyone knows
 Holy mackerel! I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth
 I smacked a girl off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull
 For thinkin' we had some magnetic pull
 Then screamed, "ICP in this bitch! How do fuckin' magnets work?"
 'Cause you're attractive, but we ain't attractable
 Hate to be dramatical, but I'm not romantical
 I'm makin' up words so you can understandable, it's tragical
 Thinkin' some magical shit's gonna happen, that ain't practical
 You crackin' a joke, it's laughable
 'Cause me and love's like a bad combination
 I keep them feelings locked in a vault
 So it's safe to say I'm uncrackable
 My heart is truly guarded, full body armor
 Bitch, you just need a helmet
 'Cause if you think you're special, you're retarded
 Thinkin' you're one of a kind like you got some platinum vagina
 You're a train wreck, I got a one-track mind
 Shorty, you're fine, but you sort of remind me of a 49er
 'Cause you been a gold digger since you was a minor
 Been tryna hunt me down like a dog
 'Cause you're on my ass but you can't get a cent
 'Cause all of my spare time is spent
 On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin'
 Only women that I love are my daughters
 But sometimes I rhyme and it sounds like I forget I'm a father
 And I push it farther
 So, Father, forgive me if I forget to draw the line
 It's apparent I shouldn't have been a parent
 I'll never grow up, so to hell with your parents
 And motherfuck father time
 It ain't never gonna stop, a pessimist
 Who transformed to an optimist in his prime
 So even if I'm half-dead, I'm half-alive
 Poured my half-empty glass in a cup
 Now my cup has runneth over
 And I'm 'bout to set it on you like a mothafuckin' coaster
 I'm goin' back to what got me here
 Yeah, cocky, and can't knock bein' rude off, so fear not, my dear
 And dry up your teardrops, I'm here
 White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird
 If you stare at me and see yourself because you're one too
 Shouldn't be a shock, because everybody knows
 Everybody knows
 That you're just an asshole
 Everywhere that you go
 People wanna go home, everyone knows
 Everybody knows
 So don't pretend to be nice
 There's no place you can hide
 You are just an asshole
 Everyone knows, everyone knows