So Far...

I own a mansion
 But live in a house
 A king-size bed, but
 I sleep on the couch
 I'm Mr. Brightside
 Glass is half full
 But my tank's half empty
 Gasket just blew
 This always happens
 Thirty minutes from home
 Gotta lay a log cabin
 Only option I have is McDonald's bathroom
 In a public stall droppin' a football
 So every time someone walks in the john, I get Madden
 "Shady, what up?"
 What? Come on, man, I'm crappin'
 And you're askin' for my goddamn autograph on a napkin?
 Oh, that's odd, I just happened to run out of tissue
 Yeah, hand me that, on second thought, I'd be glad then
 "Thanks, dawg! Name's Todd, a big fan"
 I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad, threw it back and
 Told him, "Todd, you're the shit"
 When's all of this crap end?
 Can't pump my gas without causin' an accident
 Pump my gas, cut my grass
 I can't take out the fuckin' trash without
 Someone passin' through my sub, harassin'
 I'd count my blessin's, but I suck at math
 I'd rather wallow then bask, sufferin' from succotash
 But the antacid
 Gives my stomach gas
 When I mix my corn with my fuckin' mash
 Potato, so what, ho, kiss my country bumpkin ass
 Missouri southern roots
 What the fuck is upper-class?
 Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper
 Tupperware in a covered plastic wear up the ass
 Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is that?
 B-Boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass
 Maybe that's why I feel so strange
 Got it all, but I still won't change
 Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
 It's the motivation that keeps me going
 This is the inspiration I need
 I can never turn my back on a city that made me
 And (life's been good to me so far)
 They call me classless, I heard that
 I second and third that
 Don't know what the fuck I'd be doin' if it weren't rap
 Probably be a giant turd-sack
 But I blew, never turned back
 Turned forty and still sag
 Teenagers act more fuckin' mature, Jack
 Fuck you gonna say to me?
 I leave on my own terms, asshole, I'm goin' berserk
 My nerves are bad, but I love the perks my work has
 I get to meet famous people
 Look at her, dag
 Her nylons are ran, her skirt's snagged
 And I heard she drag-races *burp* swag
 Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag
 You're Danica Patrick
 (Yeah?) word, skag
 We'd be the perfect match
 'Cause you're a vacuum
 I'm a dirtbag
 My apologies
 No disrespect to technology
 But what the heck is all of these buttons?
 You expect me to sit here and learn that?
 Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda?
 Be an expert at computers?
 I'd rather be an Encyclopedia Britannica
 Hell with PlayStation
 I'm still on my first man on some Zelda
 Nintendo, bitch!
 Run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the
 Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread
 Make a sandwich with Welch's and belch
 They say this spray butter's bad for my health, but
 I think there's more white trash from the trailer
 Jed Clampett, Redd Sanford, and welfare
 Mentality helps to
 Keep me grounded
 That's why I never take full advantage of wealth, I
 Managed to dwell within these parameters
 Still crammin' the shelves full of Hamburger Helper
 I can't even help it
 This is the hand I was dealt, a
 Creature of habit
 Feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter
 With all these pet peeves
 Goddammit to hell
 I can't stand
 All these kids
 With their camera cellphones
 I can't go anywhere
 I get so mad I could yell, the
 Other day, someone got all elaborate
 And stuck a head from a fuckin' dead cat in my mailbox
 Went to Burger King
 They spit on my onion rings
 I think my karma's catchin' up with me
 Maybe that's why I feel so strange
 Got it all, but I still won't change
 Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
 It's the motivation that keeps me going
 This is the inspiration I need
 I can never turn my back on a city that made me
 And (life's been good to me so far)
 Got friends on Facebook
 All over the world
 Not sure what that means
 They tell me it's good
 So I'm artist of the decade
 I even got a plaque
 I'd hang it up, but
 The frame is all cracked
 I'm tryna be low-key
 Hopefully nobody notices me
 In produce, hunched over, giant nosebleed, ogre
 Style as I mosey over to the frozen aisle
 By the frozen yogurt this guy approached me
 Embarrassed, I just did Comerica
 With Hova, the show's over
 I'm hidin' in Kroger buyin' groceries
 He just had front row seats
 Told me to sign this poster, then insults me
 "Wow, up close, didn't know you had crow's feet!"
 I'm at a crossroad, lost, still shoppin' at Costco
 Sloppy Joe's, bulk waffles
 Got caught pickin' my nose, ah!
 Look over, see these two hot hoes
 Finger's still up in one of my nostrils
 Right next to 'em
 Stuck at the light
 The fuckin' shit's takin' forever to change, It's stuck
 These bitches are lovin' it, rubbin' it in, chucklin'
 Couldn't do nothin', play it off
 "What you bumpin'? Trunk Muzik?"
 "Yelawolf's better," fuckin' bitch
 They want me to flip at the label
 But I won't succumb to it
 The pressure, they want me to follow up with another one
 After Recovery was so highly coveted
 But what good is a fuckin' recovery if I fumble it?
 'Cause I'ma drop the ball if I don't get a grip
 Hoppin' out shrubbery on you sons of bitches
 Wrong subdivision to fuck with, bitch
 Quit snappin' fuckin' pictures of my kids
 I love my city, but you push me to my limit, what a pity
 The shit I complain about
 It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky, and it's rainin' out
 Kool-Aid stain on the couch
 I'll never get it out
 Bitch, I got an elevator in my house
 Ants and a mouse, I'm livin' the dream
 Maybe that's why I feel so strange
 Got it all, but I still won't change
 Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
 It's the motivation that keeps me going
 This is the inspiration I need
 I can never turn my back on a city that made me
 And (life's been good to me so far)