Colleagues from Hell - Live

Everywhere I go, the crowds all cheer me
 I love this job, it's made me very rich
 People pay good money
 Every night to come and hear me
 Guess I'm just a jammy bitch
 I sing like Lulu, play like Liberace
 And J.Lo says she's jealous of my bum
 And yet, beneath this smiling mask
 I weep like Pagliacci
 For there's a maggot in my plum
 ♪
 I've got the colleagues from hell
 Miss Liza and Dame Adèle
 And I deserve the Nobel
 For putting up with the two of them for years
 Frankly, my dears, I'm bored to tears
 They drive me insane
 But I'm too old to retrain
 And so until my retirement to Spain
 I am stuck with my colleagues from hell
 (She is stuck with her colleagues from hell)
 I've got the colleagues from hell
 To think that we used to gel
 Each frightful Mademoiselle
 Takes great delight in putting me through the mill
 Their talent is nil, they're over the hill
 One of them stinks
 The other never buys drinks
 And did you know they are both seeing shrinks?
 But that won't help my colleagues from hell
 For all the time we're forced to spend together
 We might as well be married, where's the noose?
 Umpteen years developing a hide of bloody leather
 Rampant egos on the loose
 Every little thing becomes a drama
 I want to push their faces in the soup
 As I was saying to Siobhan the day she left Bananarama
 Who needs another three girl group?
 I've got those colleagues from hell
 I wish we could say farewell
 I'm in a different hotel
 'Cause I can't cope with them always stealing the towels
 Their nightly prowls and thunderous bowels
 Oh, when will it end?
 My smile is only pretend
 Oh, you'd go crazy if you had to spend
 All these years with the colleagues from hell
 Oh, I'm not too proud
 To say that three is a crowd
 And I am thinking of moving to Stroud
 Or else I'll be due for the shroud
 Oh, I don't know why I allowed
 All these years to go by
 While we all lived a lie
 And we've got the colleagues from hell