Ramblin Rover

Oh, there're sober men and plenty,
 and drunkards barely twenty,
 There are men of over ninety
 who have never yet kissed a girl.
 But give me a ramblin' rover,
 from Orkney down to Dover.
 We will roam the country over
 and together we'll face the world.
 There's many that feign enjoyment
 from merciless employment,
 Their ambition was this deployment
 from the minute they left the school.
 And they save and scrape and ponder
 while the rest go out and squander,
 See the world and rove and wander
 and are happier as a rule.
 I have roamed through all the nations
 in delight of all creations,
 And enjoyed a wee sensation
 where the company, it was kind.
 And when barkin' was no pleasure,
 I've drunk another measure
 To the good friends that were treasure
 for they always around were mine.
 If you're bent with arthritis,
 your bowels have got Colitis,
 You're gallopin' with balacitis
 and you're thinkin' it's time you died,
 If you been a man of action,
 though you're lying there in traction,
 You will get some satisfaction
 thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried."