Don't Go for "The One"

My friend Harvey married Tracey McCall
 By Christ, she was a scary old doll
 A voice out of hell and a temper to boot
 Arms like a navvy and a face like dried fruit
 I bumped into Harvey back home last year
 Says I to him, 'Do you wanna go for a beer?'
 'No, me sister's French husband is over, ' says he
 'I've been sent to get snails to impress him for tea'
 'I was down in the snail shop, she told me to go'
 'I'm a little bit late because business was slow'
 'If I'm not home by six, I'll surely be done'
 'The Mrs will kill me, let's just go for the one'
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one
 For the one went down fast, the second did too
 Three or four followed, twas a fine how-do-you-do
 Harvey looked at his watch, shrieked out with fright
 It was twenty past ten, we'd been drinking all night
 Well cursing my name, he sped 'cross the floor
 Clutching the snails, he ran out the door
 'I'm a dead man, ' he said, 'I'm drunk and I'm late'
 As he tore down the road and up to his gate
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one
 Well he opened the gate and he ran down the path
 But he knew he was in for the dragon's wrath
 But he tripped and he fell and up in the air
 Went the bag with the snails flying everywhere
 Hearing the noise she kicked open the door
 The snails and Harvey were spread 'cross the floor
 'You're three hours late, ' she screamed, loud as she could
 'What's your excuse, this had better be good'
 Well he looks down at the snails
 And with a confident air
 He says, 'five more feet lads, we're nearly there'
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one
 The one, the one, don't go for the one
 Don't go for the one, for the one, for the one