Big Ass Heart (Glee Cast Version)

My girl went to the doctor 'cause her heart had palpitations
 He said cut the carbs, or else she'd end up pushing up carnations
 She stepped up on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh Lordy!
 If you don't drop a few, girl, you won't make it past age forty"
 My girl said, "Hey lookie, on that fancy x-ray chart"
 Said the doctor, "Holy hell, that's one G.D. big ass heart"
 I'm telling you, my friend, my girl's got a big ass heart
 When she shops for groceries that heart gets its own damn cart
 That big ass heart can pump two tons of love through her chest
 And then sit down and win a lovin' pie-eating contest
 I love that big ass heart so much I think it isn't fair
 Like how your heart won't pay me back for breaking all my chairs
 So sick with love I think I'm coming down with rickets
 When that big ass heart flies coach it has to pay for two plane tickets
 Oh, that big ass heart
 Oh, that big ass heart