ditch

Fuck my life
 Fuck my health
 You don't care so I'll go fuck myself
 Fuck this job
 Fuck this car
 And every song that I write just co-exists with a scar
 And I've got paragraphs about the shit that I will never say
 'Cause it'll kill you just to hear me whine and bitch all fucking day
 Maybe the grass is green in other states where I choose to reside
 Maybe a glimpse of light will formulate and catch my fucking eye
 And maybe you'll hear this when you check my page and ask if I'm alright
 'Cause I've been afraid of all the darkest places lying in my mind
 I will convince myself I'm dying but then act like I'm just fine
 My mind's a scary fucking place and I can't fix it while I drive
 But my car is lucy in the sky with diamonds going sixty-five
 And you're just a pothole, maybe Yoko Ono screaming by my side
 Is this the end of things?
 I'm strumming strings just trying to decide
 'Cause I am afraid of me, so save me, please
 I beg you just to try
 I'm losing my purpose, life's a circus
 They said please enjoy the ride
 My seat belt is broken eyes wide open
 As my body starts to slide
 If I escape the wreck
 I'll disconnect from everyone online
 I'll pack my belongings
 I've been longing for this moment my whole life
 I'll disappear for months
 No mentions of my status or a clue
 I'm fine don't you worry
 There's no hurry to return to what I knew
 It's hard to calculate these conversations
 If I'm being truthful
 I wanna congregate all that relate
 To everything I spew
 In midst of my disconnect
 I'll stay in check and keep in touch with few
 As long as I'm open I'm just hoping
 That it's something I'll get through
 Cause I'm a fucking wreck
 Oh, what the heck?
 Why do I even try?
 I lie in the grass high off my ass
 And watch the clouds just pass on by
 If life has a purpose I am nervous
 To unravel what is mine
 I'll trip and I'll travel
 Down the rabbit hole
 And ditch my bags inside