Risk/Reward

I'm cold, conscience numbing from the windchill
 Unfold, words start flowing; there's a lot to say
 Now should I step away?
 How could I anyway?
 I've traced it back right to the days
 I hate the guilt but love the taste
 My eyes should be gouged
 This can't resolve
 Those eyes were too much
 For the walls my soul created
 In the frigid arms of winter
 We burned the wick at both ends
 Then tricked ourselves but didn't know
 Feels good, knowing no one isn't out there
 The reach casts across the sea
 When the feeling passes, another casualty
 I've traced it right back to the day
 I hate the game but love to play
 Those eyes are gouging
 This can't be good
 My eyes saw too much for the mind my skull protected
 In the frigid arms of winter
 We burned the wick at both ends
 I felt the heat but couldn't let go