SIGNED, SOBER YOU

My third shot down, I'm in trouble
 I'm a newly single man, seein' double
 Fake a smile for all my friends
 Then go home alone around 2 a.m.
 And stumble through the front door, gone as it gets
 Flip the kitchen light on, there it is
 On the fridge, just my luck
 "Read this if you're drunk"
 Don't think about it, mister
 Don't even touch your phone
 I know you think you miss her
 But I promise you, you don't
 There's healing in the lonely
 Sit back, kick off your boots
 And you'll thank me in the morning
 Like you always do
 Signed, sober you
 P.S. there's pizza in the freezer, Dumb and Dumber on the TV
 It's so stupid, that's what you'd be
 To go diggin' through her Instagram
 If you're thinkin' 'bout that, read this again
 Don't think about it, mister
 Don't even touch your phone
 I know you think you miss her
 But I promise you, you don't
 There's healing in the lonely
 Sit back, kick off your boots
 And you'll thank me in the morning
 Like you always do
 Signed, sober you
 ♪
 Signed, sober you
 Yeah, well remember last time that you hit her up
 You heard some other guy, how much does that suck?
 That set you back a month, yeah, trust me, old friend
 You don't wanna go down that road again
 So don't think about it, mister
 Don't even touch your phone
 I know you wanna kiss her
 But I promise you, you don't
 And there's healing in the lonely
 Sit back, kick off your boots
 And you'll thank me in the morning
 Like you always do
 Signed, sober you, yeah, yeah
 Signed, sober you