Plastic Jesus

Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes
 Long as I got my plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Through all trials and tribulations
 We will travel every nation
 With my plastic Jesus I'll go far
 Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 But I'm afraid he'll have to go
 His magnet ruins my radio
 And if I have wreck he'll leave a scar
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 Riding down a thoroughfare
 With his nose up in the air
 A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind
 Trouble coming He don't see
 He just keeps His eyes on me
 And any other thing that lies behind
 Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Though the sun shines on his back
 Makes Him peel, chip and crack
 A little patching keeps Him up to par
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 When pedestrians try to cross
 I let them know who's boss
 I never blow the horn or give them warning
 I ride all over town
 Trying to run them down
 And it's seldom that they live to see the morning
 Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 His halo fits just right
 And I use it for a sight
 And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far
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 If I weave around at night
 And the police think I'm tight
 They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
 Plastic Jesus shelters me
 For His head comes off, you see
 He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask
 Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Ride with me and have a dram
 Of the blood of the Lamb
 Plastic Jesus is the holy bar
 Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 Once His robe was snowy white
 Not it isn't quite so bright
 Stained by the smoke of my cigar
 Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
 Riding on the dashboard of my car
 But I'm afraid he'll have to go
 His magnet ruins my radio
 And if we wreck he'll leave a scar