Lawn Full of Marigolds

I moved myself west to find a philosophy,
 To learn my geography at best.
 Where the mountains are cold,
 The rain drops it's tears, I'm told.
 Amongst the ashes a heart of gold, they say.
 I guess it's best to imagine it that way.
 So I bought me a book to teach me the ways of god,
 To open my tarnished heart from it.
 Started praisin' the lord & talkin' in tongues & code;
 I did repairs on that broken road back home.
 I guess it's better than being alone.
 And now to death: I'm dying.
 To love: I'm trying.
 To god: I'm lying again.
 And to my ma: I've failed you.
 To my pa: I blamed you.
 And to god: I have shamed you again.
 So I moved myself out, I pictured a better home-
 A lawn full of marigolds, I guess.
 I headed back east, started thinking my hope away,
 Depression was the one to stay since then.
 Now, I take pills to push it from my head.
 Yes, I take pills to push it from my head.
 And now to death: I'm dying.
 To love: I'm trying.
 To god: I'm lying again.
 And to my ma: I've failed you.
 To my pa: I blamed you.
 And to god: I have shamed you again.
 To god: I have shamed you again.
 To god: I have shamed you again.
 Again.