Sickness

This is
 A sickness
 Had my chance i missed it
 My life i didn't ask for it
 I don't know how to handle it
 So i'll be dead my tomorrow
 Think i'm joking?
 I don't
 Why is it so hard?
 Remind me how did this start?
 I can't believe that you fucked him
 My self esteem was at nothing
 Ima keep it a g, I'm not fronting
 But I get to the check, so like fuck it?
 And all of your friends they, keep fronting
 Panicking in public
 Sipping on a potion
 Nodding to the sun
 But down here it's so cold though
 No one will help you if you claim you're so cutthroat.
 I'll ride by myself
 With a 45 by my side
 I'll do
 What the fuck is already done
 This is
 A sickness
 Had my chance i missed it
 My life i didn't ask for it
 I don't know how to handle it
 So i'll be dead my tomorrow
 Think i'm joking?
 I dont
 Why is it so hard
 Remind me how did this start?