Weakened Dad

You know I never met my father growing up
 And I was introduced to sex young
 I mean being molested and shit like that
 So like I've always been an angry, lustful being
 And I'm still dealing with mistakes that I've made to this day
 But I'm working
 It took two to make you
 But listen that ain't even half
 Depend on me to raise you
 I'd do it with the weakest back
 My strength will not forsake you
 For your sake I must lead a path at times I felt unable
 I came to stand, I needed that
 I tracked the streets of fatherhood
 They put me on and beat me bad and I rep this game proudly
 I'm holding you, don't need a rag, son I'm in this turf daily
 The doctors know I'm King, not mad, my speech is to inspire you
 Until I die and free at last
 But now I'm in this trap
 To me it seems my being has
 I know that's your mama
 That sit inside, just leave at that
 I feel like I'm in Hell, son
 Do I deserve to be like that?
 Or maybe I can rise like a phoenix
 Son Steven Nash because this court is different
 There's no bar for me to pass, my time with you is split
 But listen that ain't even half
 This pain that I feel it's
 Ironic I feel weakened
 Dad is losing all his strength
 And then you said
 See you this weekend, dad
 Because nobody taught me how to be a man
 (Yeah, yeah)
 My stepfather did all that he can
 (Yeah, yeah)
 Ain't seen my dad before, for you's a different plan
 (Yeah, yeah)
 To be as present as the gift of life at hand
 'Cause I'm hurting
 I'm bleeding
 I feel weakened
 'Til the weekend
 Your mother has you more than me
 And that's lucky for she to have
 Different like a sorority
 But common goals to be in frats
 Man where are my authorities?
 With paperwork I need to grab
 The public be ignoring me
 Like they don't even see your dad
 I know that this get deep
 So sink or swim, who needs a class?
 Ironic how the deep end depends on if we even splash
 I'm drowning out the screams
 My brain relives a scenic past
 The system stems from separating seeds like when the weed is trash
 I tend to CBD's
 Joint custody we think we have
 Wipe my tears with my forearm
 You probably think you've seen me dab
 But you're my biggest drug
 One actually that I need to have
 Without you I will relapse
 Son I know I may seem detached just know your dad is working
 I punch the clock with even jabs until my hands are hurting
 My arms give out and fingers snap
 The pain I feel is certain
 Ironic I feel weakened
 Dad is losing all his strength
 And then you said
 See you this weekend, dad
 Because nobody taught me how to be a man
 (Yeah, yeah)
 My stepfather did all that he can
 (Yeah, yeah)
 Ain't seen my dad before, for you's a different plan
 (Yeah, yeah)
 To be as present as the gift of life at hand
 'Cause I'm hurting
 ♪
 ♪
 I'm bleeding
 ♪
 I feel weakened
 ♪
 'Til the weekend
 Son I had to bring it back
 Like when you go get a refund or receipt attached
 This life you can't reenact
 My thumb on this note I forever will be a tack
 They poking my finger, Jack
 This bag can't aid me, where are my singers at?
 That mean that I bleed for that
 I need space for these bars, let me drink and don't keep attached
 Still got love for your mama when she be mad
 Maybe we just did things too fast
 We were speeding towards an uneven path
 And like sleeping, indeed we crashed
 Z-Z-Z how we swerving and we just dashed
 Catch a pillow for money and leave a bag
 But if fly is the Chief and is growing like me
 I have a cocoon wrapped around me the size of a sleeping bag
 I learned that I cheat to pass
 The hurt from what I cannot receive, repeat it back
 Was elementary, read the senior grads
 I ain't even grasp
 That ain't even class
 To treat it like that where my evil ass
 But every time I loved, they cheated back
 So when I think of love, I think of that
 I just do it to cope like a fiend with crack
 I don't know how to love even me in fact
 But when I look at you, it don't seem so bad
 Could it be you're so pure and I needed that?
 Hold up, could it be since a youth, we were bad?
 And the thing now runs if I see my dad
 So I grew up confused and just being mad
 And abused the views and people sad
 Then you called and you said
 It's the weekend, dad