The Life Of A Troubadour

Clean up the dungeon, the king is home
 You know he's gonna wanna hear another sing-along
 Bring the crown downstairs and the blingy rope
 Hood sort of jewels, man, he can't leave them things alone
 He said the crown looks mush, is he wrong?
 Doesn't matter, grapes on the platter
 I was with the princess last night
 After the Mad Hatter got mad at her
 Man, I don't want the throne, the woman's a disaster
 I'm just tryna bag her a couple more times
 Then I'll give her back, he can have her
 Here, help me with the ladder
 I've been feeling under pressure, baby
 Got me feeling these feels inside
 I've been feeling under pressure, baby
 Got me feeling these feels inside
 ♪
 I'ma have to ride this horse 'til springtime
 Shoulda never drank all the king's wine
 'Cause when I woke up, I was still wearing my wig
 I walked down the hall
 Saw the king's head, it was next to the pig's, crown and all
 And guess what? The blood's on my saber
 Ha, see you later
 If I don't disappear, they gonna put me in charge of this shit
 And I just wanna play my guitar for this bitch
 Oh yeah, I took the princess, too
 She's a Stage 5 clinger
 Probably thinks I'ma give her a ring-a on her finger
 But fuck that shit
 All these princess bitches just wanna fuck a singer, a singer
 And the singer just wants to sing, fuck, I'm gettin' tired
 My saddle's too small and my legs are on fire
 I haven't eaten in days, I wanna go home
 This bitch drank all my wine and there's no smoke
 And I know, and I know that your family's all dead
 But what the fuck were they feeding you?
 Hog heads? Fat bitch
 Matter fact, get off the horse
 Yeah, I'll be right back
 I'm on my own now with the stupid horse
 The life of a troubadour
 I've been feeling under pressure, baby
 Got me feeling these feels inside
 I've been feeling under pressure, baby
 Got me feeling these feels inside
 Uh-huh, yeah, killed the king with that drunk singer's sword
 Where's the princess? Oliver, bring her forward
 The king had no sons, so now the throne's mine
 Once I bag the princess, I'm in the bloodline
 Talk to me Oliver
 We searched up and down
 The princess of yours is nowhere to be found
 Jack saw her leave at the crack of dawn, and guess what?
 What? She was on the troubadour's arm
 Now Oliver, you gotta be kidding me
 Two nights ago, I fucked her 'til my dick broke
 One night, one fight and she's gone, this a sick joke?
 And for a muhfuckin' singer? Oh no, oh no
 I'm the Mad Hatter, if she ain't fuckin' with me
 Then nobody else can have her
 I'ma find him if it even means searchin' all of Liverpool
 Tie a horse to each limb, and let 'em pull
 Ha, giddy up
 There he is, I see him
 We meet again, where's the woman?
 I left her 20 miles back in the mountains
 I'd be very surprised if she's still alive
 Going up Peter's Pass this time of year would be ill advised, ill advised
 Honestly, I didn't love her, I only loved being alone
 But I need her for the throne
 Fuck the throne, man, it's too much work
 People hanging on every single goddamn word
 Enough, tie him up, I got a idea right now (Huh?)
 Give me a dagger, put a apple in his mouth
 I ain't gonna leave you here to starve out
 I'ma slice your fingers off, play guitar now
 Take his little tambourine, too, what's he gonna use it for?
 The death of a troubadour
 I've been feeling under pressure, baby
 Got me feeling these feels inside
 I've been feeling under pressure, baby
 Got me feeling these feels inside