I Wish

I wish I were skinny...
 all wirey and neat.
 'Cause then I'd wear vintage
 and make you feel weak.
 I wish I had charm
 like my charming friend Jack.
 Maybe then I could tempt you,
 or at least make you laugh.
 I wish I were
 more than these words reveal.
 I wish I were sedate...
 all smooth and elite.
 Not twitchy and glitchy,
 but calm and complete.
 I wish I were British...
 maybe then I'd seem clever.
 At least I'd have an accent.
 A fair trade for shitty weather.
 (You'll never have, you'll never have,
 you'll never have, you'll never have
 the things that you desire.)
 I wish I were
 more than these words reveal.
 I wish the world were black and white.
 I wish I could say what I mean.
 I wish I were a little less bitter...
 maybe then you'd reconsider.
 I wish I saw things clearly
 or you could see what I've seen.
 I wish I could stop scrubbing my skin,
 but I'm sure it's still not clean.
 I wish I had gotten on my knees.
 I wish I was better at apologies
 or at least, somehow, maybe,
 the kind of guy
 who wouldn't need one now.
 I wish you could see
 inside of my head...
 my world of intentions,
 things I should have said.
 I wish you could feel
 the heat in my hands...
 How my body just knows you
 and my blood understands.
 I wish I were
 more than these words reveal.