Bruce

Bruce Bogtrotter
 Yes, miss?
 You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce?
 Yes, Miss Trunchbull, and I'm very sorry–
 Oh, no, no, no, no, no
 As long as you enjoyed the cake, that's the main thing
 Is it?
 Yes, Bogtrotter, it is
 Oh, well, I did, thank you
 Wonderful, marvellous, that makes me so happy
 It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine
 Oh, cook
 ♪
 What's the matter, Bogtrotter?
 Lost your appetite?
 Well, yes, I'm full
 Oh, no, you are not full
 I'll tell you when you are full
 And I say that criminals like you are not full
 Until you have eaten the entire cake
 But-
 No "buts", you haven't got time for "but", eat
 But I can't eat it all
 Headmistress, he'll be sick
 He should have thought of that
 Before he made a pact with Satan
 And decided to steal my cake
 Eat
 He can't
 Eat
 He surely can't
 Eat
 He might explode
 Eat
 I can see that a slice or even two, Bruce
 Might have been nice
 But even you, Bruce
 Have to admit
 Between you and it
 There's not a lot of difference in size
 He can't (he can, Bruce)
 He surely can't
 He surely can't
 You are the man, Bruce
 He might explode
 He's quite elastic
 He's going to blow, make him stop
 He's fantastic, look at him go
 I can't watch
 I think in effect
 This must confirm, Bruce
 What we all suspected
 You have a worm, Bruce
 Or maybe your largeness
 Is a bit like the TARDIS
 Considerably roomier inside
 He can't (he can, Bruce)
 He surely can't
 He surely can't
 You are the man, Bruce
 B-R-O-O-C-E
 Bruce
 The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use
 You produce, Bruce
 Fantastically enthusiastic gastric juice
 Oh, eat it up, lick it up, suck it up
 Whatever you do, don't chuck it up and muck it up
 Come on Bruce, be our hero
 Cover yourself in chocolate glory
 Bruce
 You'll never again be subject to abuse
 For your immense caboose
 She'll call a truce, Bruce
 With every swallow you are tightening the noose
 We never thought it was possible
 But here it is coming true
 We can have our cake and eat it too
 The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use
 No excuse, Bruce
 Let out your belt, I think you'll want your trousers loose
 Ohh, stuff it in (Bruce)
 You're almost finished (Bruce)
 You'll fit it in, whatever you do just don't give in (Bruce)
 Don't let her win (Bruce)
 Come on Bruce, be our hero
 Cover yourself in chocolate glory
 Go on Bruce, do it
 Ohh, Bruce
 You'll never again be subject to abuse
 For your immense carboose
 She'll call a truce, Bruce
 Just one more bite and you'll've
 Completely cooked her goose
 We never thought it was possible
 But here it is coming true
 We can have our cake and eat it
 Ah-ah-ah-ah
 Ah-ah-ah-ah
 Ah-ah-ah-ah
 Ah-ah-ah-ah-aah
 Go on Brucey!