Altered States

In Indiana I watched a Hoosiers game
 Saw Bobby Knight bringing the pain
 The next week down in Tennessee
 I built a life-sized model of a centipede
 Kicking it in Kansas dope red pumps
 Jayhawks shaking badonkadonks
 In Nebraska, I husked corn all day
 Got bitten by a shark Californ-I-A
 MC LARS:
 Had to let it go in New Mexico
 Played a sold out show in Calexico
 Had a trailer crash on tour in Minnesota
 Got lucky in Kentucky with a chick in my Toyota
 Got in my pajamas with a girl from Alabama
 Then I lost my laptop in Louisiana
 Saw Hannah in Montana, went to New Joisy
 Got lost on the turnpike gross and oily
 K.FLAY:
 I was in Vermont, saw into the future now I'm clairvoyant
 Out to infinity and then beyond
 Drank a tub of maple syrup, got sick and I called my Mom
 Popped a soda up in North Dakota
 Then I hitched a ride down to Arizona
 Business that's risky in Mississippi
 Oregon filled with duck-billed hippies
 MC LARS:
 Do I really have to remind ya
 About the bets we made in North and South Carolina?
 If you can't ignore the Idaho snow
 We'll move to Georgia where the peaches grow
 In Massachusetts met Confucius
 Said, "Where's your beverage? Are you juiceless?" "Agh??"
 It's not that I'm insane
 I'm just too West Coast for New Hampshire or Maine
 50 states, 64 bars
 Presented by Ms. Flay and Lars
 Check out the map (yeah we've been there)
 K.FLAY:
 I put the O in Ohio, Venus de Milo
 Kidnapped by the circus and they put me in a sideshow
 Got lei'd in Hawaii on top of dolphins that's where I be
 Rhode Island popped a Mylanta
 In Alaska chillin with Santa
 David the gnoming in Wyoming
 Pennsylvania's pregnant and it's showing
 MC LARS:
 Not ignoring the warm Florida sun
 Chased by a gator to Wisconsin
 Made a scary plan down in Maryland
 Where Edgar Allan Poe died a sad lonely man
 I guess his death wish was big like Texas
 You can't reject this New York guestlist
 In Utah I saw the Simpsons movie
 At the Delaware mall I paid no duties
 K.FLAY:
 Michigan acting like a bitch again
 In Colorado you'll need your Michelins
 Small gene pools in West VA
 Washington state lots of rainy days
 Munching on a bowl full of curry in Missouri
 Midwest swing and I'm no hurry
 Mad love for Illinois got a silent s
 And it's not Reno homeboy it's Re-yes
 MC LARS: Went to Nevada had a bad trip
 Moved to Iowa where I owe a grip
 Chasing tornados in Oklahoma
 Climbing Lincoln's nose in South Dakota
 Friends with benefits in Connecticut
 Went to Virginia for some southern etiquette
 Hundreds of fans all parked and saw
 Me and Bill Clinton jamming in Arkansas
 50 states, 64 bars
 Presented by Ms. Flay and Lars
 Check out the map (yeah we've been there)
 MC LARS & K.FLAY:
 These are the states that we've been to
 And all the hi jinks that we got into
 At the end of the day all we can say
 Is there's really no place like the USA