Kookies

It's horrible
 One little evening alone home
 End up with carpal tunnel syndrome
 And here I am, known for giving heavy back aches
 Grown and living off of Little Debbie snack cakes
 Supposed to be checking e-mails
 All I got is messages from ass naked females
 I don't know a Jenny
 She said it's free and I won't owe her a penny
 And that's the last time I saw her
 But thousands of more horror and on-line Gomorra
 And Sodom, they got 'em with they curls out
 And they got a better sales pitch than the Girl Scouts
 I wonder what I owe her for a whole box of caramel coconut Samoa
 ("Nite nite!") Uh, okay honey, sweet dreams
 Now it's time to get serious like Peek Freans
 A metal handful, wipe it on the quilt
 Wife wakes up and I'm kill't over spilled milk
 Locked in looking at your picture
 Fully clothed winter and I'm right there with ya
 Thinking about the last time I split your wishbone
 A man could only wish you could do the same till he get home
 Fat chance, at least he get snacks
 That'd have to do till a brother get back
 Untill then smack One-Eyed Jack
 And hope one of his peoples can hook him with a tri-pack
 That's three different flavors
 Chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry wafers
 Acting all hard, 'bout to get beat up
 I'll show him what time it is once I get this sheet up
 As soon as he fell off his beat down
 All I hear is, "13th cell put the sheet down"
 Damn C.O
 What the hell do she know?
 Besides the fact that she wanna get dug out on the d-low
 A workaholic with a fountain in the ink pen
 Out in the mountains and I stop drinking again
 In the wee hours, he's gotten farther
 Needing three showers, being hot and bothered
 The wiz with her legs bent pregnant
 God bless the day she wondered where her egg went
 I need a L but it's hard to drink with out it
 And could use some kookies but trying not to think about it
 Watching "BET" on jazz for knowledge on file
 Every other commercial, college hoes gone wild
 Soft batch, I prefer the other bunch
 Like we got for lunch, chocolate fudge butter crunch
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 You don't mess with the Ritz Bitz
 Wheat Thins, Saltines or Triscuits
 Matzos or Cheez-Its
 Catch sugar fits every time that he sees
 Chips Ahoy, double chocolate chunk
 Something with the bubble and the junk in the trunk
 Even the Oreos, no matter what the weather
 Always kept 'em dipped in milk and stuck together
 In the game he's shameless
 Even uses a code name: Famous Amos
 Cheaper than a short stay at the Days Inn
 And good like 25 cent oatmeal raisin
 Give a hand to who invented the camera
 Skip past the graham, animal and Grandma's
 Shh, make sure she don't wake from her dream chill
 Or get caught with a handful of cream fill
 "Oh, honey!"
 "What are you doing? That's so nasty!" (It might seem ill)
 "Ew! Go wash your hand! No!"
 "Get out of here!" (Kookies)
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 DOOM is master of the world
 I'd sure hate to see that ugly mug of yours in my history book
 You've disturbed me for the last time
 Hey, y'know something gang? That DOOM ain't really all bad
 What do you mean, Ben?
 Well, on account of him I had me a real good time
 Y'know? I mean, between you and me, I kinda like being black
 Well, maybe if we're lucky, he'll attack us once more and send you back, Benjamin
 Ah-haha, very funny, very-very funny
 He must be mad
 Well, if anyone can do it, nevertheless let's get out of here, while we can
 Food, we need food