Triumph of Disintegration (PIP version)

The last ten days have been a motherfucker
 I didn't know if I'd survive
 The synapse with the voice that calls blood bats into action
 has now entered the PHC
 It's only natural
 To feel a little psychotic
 It's a symptom of this hysterical thirst to be understood
 I had to forgive my enemy 'cause it was making me crazy to keep fighting him inside of ma head
 How could I allow these people that I don't even respect to trod me in and trap me in my own self-mutilization
 Fashion a forest like a tormented brute
 I had to make myself a monster just to feel something
 Ugly enough to be true
 And then scratching madly at the mirror with my heart to see their doleful faces
 What is the fun in just running away?
 Running away fixes everything!
 How can I... why should I stay?!
 Just to view the triumph of disintegration
 To live beneath the language or perhaps above
 It's really not that different
 I've been so sober lately I, I have been giving up on some substance that can shove & eat up all this pressure!
 Fashion a forest like a tormented brute
 I had to make myself a monster just to feel something ugly enough to be true
 And then dashing madly at the mirror with my heart to see their doleful faces
 What is the fun in just running away?
 Running away fixes everything!
 How can I... why should I stay just to view the triumph of disintegration!?
 Victories of devastation