I Will Get a Vasectomy

I just wanna show my appreciation
 To how much I love kids and teens
 Between the ages of 12 and 17
 Why, are kids so fucking stupid?
 Did their parents not beat them hard
 Enough, enough, enough?
 I try, to empathize with teens
 'Cause when I was younger
 I was stupid too, too, too (It's true)
 But then I realized
 That I was never this stupid
 My friends were never this stupid
 Y'all are just dense, dense, dense
 Like damn, I'm really, really concerned
 I wish your father would use that wooden spoon, spoon, spoon
 Just fucking beat them already!
 I was just being ironic man, hah!
 What a fucking loser, do you ha-
 Listen kids, being edgy is okay
 But the same ten jokes in a row
 That's not okay, okay, okay
 Like, damn, is that all you can come up with?
 If you're gonna be racist at least be original
 Please, we're dead serious
 If you're under 17
 Please, don't ever talk to me
 You think this is part of the act
 But please don't come near me
 Hah! Dude, get a load of this guy
 He's never heard of irony before
 Wha-what a fucking loser, dude?
 Jimmy, it's past your bedtime
 Dad no
 Get back to bed
 I was just being ironic
 I don't care
 No dad
 You're being a piece of shit
 Please, no, ah! (Take these spanks, you little bitch)
 Ah, oh, no, daddy, daddy, daddy, please
 Who do you think you are?
 Who the fuck you think you are? (Spanking and crying)
 Talkin-talking to people on the internet like you're some piece of shit, calling irony
 I was just being ironic
 Take these fucking spanks you dumbass, kid
 I should've never give birth to you, you piece of shit
 Take that, I'm out of here, fuck you, son
 If I should even call you son
 Daddy, daddy, have you heard of irony before?
 I was just kidding that crying was ironic
 I wasn't actually crying
 What the fuck did you just say?
 You want me to come back here? Ha?
 Nothing daddy, nothing
 That's what I fucking thought
 Go back to bed it's 9 p.m.