The Humpty Song

When you're up you're up
 When you're up you're up
 When you're up you're up
 And when you're down you're down
 When you're up you're up
 And when you're down you're down
 When you're up you're up
 Humpty dumpty sat on the wall
 Mary walked by Humpty took a fall
 He was slippery into Mary's clam
 Mary had a little lamb
 When you're up you're up
 And when you're down you're down
 And when you're down you're down
 Do you mash potatoes
 Do you do the twist?
 Do you like to get down
 Do you do it like this?
 Ernest asked Chante
 If he could taste her yam
 She said it's sweet and good
 And you know you can
 Meanwhile on the news
 There was a large group of rats
 They rounded up people
 Wearing cowboy hats
 They brought them into town
 And put on a display
 The rat population
 Made money that way
 When you're up you're up
 And when you're down you're down
 And when you're down you're down
 In Silver Creek Utah
 At the nuclear dump
 Some unusual organisms
 Were having a hump
 They lived in a hole
 Under the ground
 And tourists would come
 From miles around
 To watch the
 Silver Creek geyser
 Explode in the air
 They brought their instamatics
 There were plenty of chairs
 But what they thought
 Was water
 Pure and immaculate
 Shot from these organisms
 Was really ejaculate
 Unknown to the tourists
 It always got on their clothing
 Of course if they'd known this
 They'd have been
 Filled with loathing
 Tens of thousands
 Were infected
 Each year
 By the strain
 Of course it invaded
 And took over their brains
 To the outside world
 They appeared like
 Good nationals
 Although on the inside
 Not really rational
 Normal by day
 Deviant by dark
 They set up groups
 To open Silver Creek
 Theme parks
 By the thousands they spread
 Across the whole USA
 Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
 Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
 Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
 Ejaculate geysers spreading mutant DNA
 On the cover of Forbes
 And Money magazine
 It was a big time success
 The American dream
 When you're up you're up
 And when you're down you're down
 And when you're down you're down
 And when you're down you're down
 And when you're down you're down