Bridget The Midget

Well the wife went out of town 'bout a year or so back
 And left me at home by myself to batch
 And after five straight nights of TV I was ready to scream
 So I called up this beer drinkin' buddy of mine
 I said, "Bill, I ain't havin' a real good time"
 He said, "Why don't we go to the rasslin' matches
 And let off a little steam?"
 The main event was the Spider from parts unknown
 With his trusty partner, the Blue Cyclone
 They was takin' on a team that never had been beat
 Now I'd never seen the matches before
 And the crowd was backed up plumb out the door
 But me an' ol' Bill lucked out and got ringside seats
 Well then they rang the bell and all Hell broke loose
 My legs was shakin' like a rubber goose
 I'd never seen anything like this, not even in the war!
 The Cyclone put the Vulture in an airplane spin
 Then he body slammed him and he did it again
 I swear, I didn't see how that old boy could take much more
 It was right about then in the thick of things
 My buddy Bill threw a chair in the ring
 And that's when I knew we'd better be headin' for the door
 'Cause I saw the Cyclone lookin' at us
 And he was rubbin' his head and he started to cuss
 And I knew if he caught us he'd break Bill's neck for sure
 Well, where we parked wasn't too far
 And Bill ran so fast he beat me to the car
 Locked the doors and wasn't about to let anybody in
 And I turned around and the Cyclone was there
 And he said, "Hey punk, you forgot your chair!"
 And by the look in his eyes, I knew that this was the end
 Then he body slammed me two or three times
 And he put his arms around me from behind
 Then he pile drived me right there in the hard concrete
 Broke both my arms and three of my ribs
 It's the closest, I've ever come to being killed
 And that's the last thing, I remember 'fore he put me to sleep
 Blue Cyclone
 Blue Cyclone
 Well, I woke up in a hospital bed just thinkin'
 I believe I coulda took him if I hadn't been drinkin'
 So the next time we meet, I won't be on no binge
 'Cause I hadn't been the same since we had that fight
 And I see that Cyclone in my dreams at night
 And I'll never be satisfied 'til I get revenge
 So I called up Bill and told him my plan
 And all he said was, "Right on, man!
 I'd do the same darn thing if it'd been me
 It all happened so quick when that car door slammed
 It must a broke somethin', 'cause the door locks jammed
 You was already down, he's gone time I got free"
 Bill said, "Since you're thinkin' 'bout takin' him again
 I know two ol' boys that weigh 210
 They'd take on a grizzly with a switch in the woods at night"
 Well, we talked it over, they said they's willin'
 They'd stop at nothing, short of a killin'
 Said, "Hoss, we'll back you as long as you wanna fight"
 So we all went down to the Hammerlock Bar
 The hangout of all the rasslin' stars
 And waited for the Blue Cyclone to hit the door
 Well, after a while, he finally appeared
 And sat down at the bar and ordered a beer
 And he barely took a sip 'fore I stepped to the middle of the floor
 I yelled, "Hey Cyclone! Remember me?
 I'm the guy you put to sleep
 Only this time, you can see I'm not alone, ha ha
 You see them two big dudes over there?"
 The Cyclone looked and said, "Over where?"
 And I turned around, I'm a son of a gun, they was gone!
 Well, the Cyclone looked at me and grinned
 He said, "Okay punk, here we go again
 Seems to me that some guys never learn"
 And then he waded through them tables and chairs
 Put a full-nelson on me and grabbed my hair
 And when he threw me to the floor, I was startin' to get concerned
 The next thing I remember, they was carryin' me in
 And the doctor said, "Oh no, you again?"
 I said, "Doctor, how long you think it'll be this time?"
 He said, "Boy, if you don't leave the Cyclone alone
 One of these days, you ain't goin' home!
 You'll need the undertaker's services, not mine"
 Blue Cyclone
 He's the meanest wrestler the ring has ever known
 He'll make you groan, he'll make you moan
 He'll lay you prone and break your bones
 Blue Cyclone
 The Blue Cyclone