Gone For Good

As she kiseed me goodbye, she kicked my bird dog
 Rolled a stick of dynamite under my pickup
 Released the brake on my dear old mother's wheelchair
 Pushed it down into the path of a speeding semi truck
 Then she shot the propane tank with my deer rifle
 Turned our love nest into one big pile of wood
 I hate to be a pessimist but I sensed something in her kiss
 And I'm afraid this time she might be gone for good
 As she backed out of the drive she hit my Harley
 Drug it underneath her car down to the street
 Took a baseball bat to my Xerox city mailbox
 Hollered something at me that I can't repeat
 Then she whistled for our neighbor, she come a-runnin'
 And they drove off laughing through our neighborhood
 I know they say that love is blind but I think she's givin' me a sign
 And I believe this time she might be gone for good
 Yes I'm afraid this time she might be gone for good!
 No, wait! I was wrong! She's coming back!
 Hey, baby! Huh? Wha... wha... what's this?
 A new bowling ball! With a sparkler in it!
 Hey, hey, wait! Where are you going?
 Well don't run off again!
 Hey, Thelma! You and Louise come back here, you hear!
 Wait a minute - wait a minute, this ain't no bowling ball!
 Why it's a...
 Yeah this time she might just be gone for good!
 Timber...!