Kitty Cat’s Revenge

Well, when I was young I had a job
 With the Fire Department Rescue Squad
 And we got a call one day
 To get a cat out of a drainage line
 Now the lady was frantic and the day was hot
 And she'd mentioned her kitty was an ocelot
 A fact that did not seem all that
 Important, at the time.
 'Cause they're usually neutered, declawed, defanged
 But this little fella still had everythang
 And when I found him back in that drainage pipe
 He was a tremblin', shakin' mess
 Well I reached to grab him but he grabbed me first,
 AAnd that was the worst I thought I'd ever been hurt
 But that was before I hit my head
 On that big dirt dobber's nest
 Since I was on my knees anyway,
 I thought I'd just offer up a little prayer:
 Lord, have mercy on me!
 Save a place in Heaven for me
 'Cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe
 Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help
 They're doin' just fine right be their selves
 But anything you can do for me, Lord
 I'd sure be much obliged!
 Well, everything I grabbed was either tooth or claw,
 It was like tryin' to fight a circle saw
 And those bees, Lord have mercy friends,
 They were all over me!
 It was a stingin', bittin', clawin' fight,
 And then I dropped my big flashlight
 But it really didn't matter
 I was hurtin' so bad I couldn't see.
 And on my hands and knees I couldn't stand up
 And I couldn't turn around so I had to back up
 But I couldn't see or remember which way
 That I had come in from
 And I took a wrong turn and the gradient got steep
 And then me and the cat dropped 30 feet
 AAnd most of those bees followed us down
 To that sewage treatment pond
 You've heard of steppin' in it friends?
 I was up to my clavicle...
 Lord, have mercy on me!
 Save a place in Heaven for me
 'Cause all of my strength is nearly gone
 Yeah, those bees are stingin' and the cat can't swim
 And I cain't get away from either one of them
 I think it's time you intervene, Lord
 Call somebody home!
 Then my buddies found me and pulled me
 And, friends, I looked like a Christmas tree
 And they sprayed the bees
 And gave the lady back her cat
 And I went home and showered 14 times
 Got bandaged up, and I did just fine
 But in all my life I've never hurt so bad
 Or smelled quite like that
 And I can remember prayin':
 Lord, have mercy on me!
 Save a place in Heaven for me,
 'cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe!
 Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help
 They're doin' just fine right by their selves
 But anything you can do for me, Lord
 I'd sure be much obliged!
 Anything you can do for me, Lord
 I'd sure be much obliged!