The Dog Song

You know, if dogs could sing,
 Here's a song that might be sung by one of man's best friends:
 She said "I'm tired of being treated like a dog
 I'm outta here"
 When I heard these words it really made me
 Perk up my ears
 Now I know she's been mistreated,
 But what she said is wrong
 If he had treated her like a dog
 She'd a-never gone
 If he had rolled around and played with her
 On the floor down in the pen
 Taken her for nice long walks
 Given her a bath and then
 Dried her off, rubbed her tummy
 Scratched her behind her ears
 Well I bet you a bag of Ken-L Ration
 That she'd still be here
 If he had only treated her like a dog
 Well happy ever after would have been their Everlong
 She'd never strayed away from home
 She'd wagged her tail and tagged along
 If he had only treated her like a dog (like a dog!)
 Now he calls me Prince, treats me like a king
 And when it comes to her I don't know why
 He can't do the same doggone thing
 Like wash her bowl and water dish
 Each night like he does mine
 Compliment her, give her
 Little treats from time to time
 Let her out all on her own
 Every now and then
 Why I'd have some stiff competition
 To be that man's best friend
 If he had only treated her like a dog
 Well happy ever after would have been their Everlong
 She'd never strayed away from home
 She'd wagged her tail and tagged along
 If he had only treated her like a dog (like a dog!)
 If he had only treated her like a dog