The Pirate Song

16 men on a dead man's chest
 Yo ho-ho and a bottle of rum
 "Avast there mates, ye're sailin'
 With Long John Black Beard
 Peg-Leg, Patch-Eye Hook
 Scourge of the bounding main
 Blood-thirstiest, black-heartiest"
 "Pirate captain ever sailed the seven seas ha, ha, ha
 What say ye, we hoist the Jolly Roger
 Heel over the yonder Spanish galleon
 Lay a few broadsides agin' her timers"
 "Swing over on these here lanyards
 With our cutlasses in our teeth
 Cut 'em to ribbons and split the booty
 What say ye to that, me hearties?
 Heh, ha, ha, ha, ha"
 "I don't like it"
 "You don't like it?"
 "I don't like it and I don't wanna do it
 It's tacky, tacky, tacky and don't look at me that way"
 "Well, if you don't like it, what do you want?"
 I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
 I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
 Wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
 I want to sing and dance
 "You want to sing and dance, heh
 You don't like plundering, aye?
 Well, shiver me timbers 'ow 'bout treasuring, huh?
 Rubies, emeralds and pearls
 Gold doubloons and British sovereigns
 "Silver chalices encrusted with diamonds and jewels
 Necklaces and bracelets of every shape and size
 Fit for the crown heads of Europe, aye?"
 "And all buried in a pirate's chest
 And I just happen to know where
 How about that me bloodthirsty
 Buckos, heh? Ha, ha, ha"
 "I don't like it"
 "You don't like it?"
 "I don't like it and I don't want it"
 "He don't want it"
 "And I won't do it, I'm an artiste"
 "An artiste, well, Mister Artiste, what do you want?"
 I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
 I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
 Wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
 I want to sing and dance
 "Now, listen hear, this ain't no floating Gilbert and Sullivan show
 You know for some little flittin' tinkerbell
 This here be a black hearted pirate ship
 And I would have you keel hauled if you weren't me
 Own flesh and blood you little twit!
 So you don't like plunderin' aye?"
 "I don't like it"
 "And you don't want no treasurin' ah?"
 "I don't want it"
 "And you probably don't want no groggin' and revelin'
 And wrenchin' and rummin' either I suppose?"
 "Well, deep down you want to know the truth?
 It's not me, I don't want it"
 "Well, what do you want
 As if I didn't already bleedin' know?"
 "I want to sing and dance and"
 "I know, I know and wear your tight little shiny pants
 Huh, okay, we'll all sing and dance
 I said, we'll all sing and dance
 Or you'll walk the plank, one, two, three"
 I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
 I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
 Wear me silver buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
 I want to sing and dance
 16 men on a dead man's chest
 Yo ho-ho and a bottle of rum
 "I don't like rum"
 "You don't like rum?"
 "Well, no, actually, well, I might like a little Perrier"
 "A little Perrier?"
 "With a lime in it"
 "A lime in it? He wants a lime in it"
 "Well, do you have any Escargot?"
 "Escar, what?"
 "What's the soup today?"
 "Soup?"
 "Might have a bit of a salad too"
 "Well, how about a bleeding finger bowl?"
 "Maybe a croissant, is that right?
 Those French make everything so hard
 Why didn't they just call it a bun?"