NATURE GIRL

The voltage in my blood and in my skin
 Crackles and erodes clouded reticence
 The pressure in my skull makes it hard to think
 But I won't let tonight become where I've been
 If I could keep my memories
 Away from the dread and anxiety
 (Who would I be?)
 I want to live, I want to feel
 I'm tired of feeling unreal
 (I'm more than this)
 I want to stay, but I'm afraid
 I don't want the safety to go away
 (But anyway)
 I am alive
 I'm here tonight
 The movement in my chest, I can't explain
 A frequency like death without any pain
 My skin is held intact by the lightest wind
 Is this what it's like to be alive again?
 If I could stay a certain way, if I could feel every day
 (I'd fall apart)
 If I could have a different life, could I look myself in the eye?
 (Would I know why?)
 I want to stay, but I'm afraid
 I don't want the safety to go away
 (But anyway)
 I close my eyes
 And dream of light
 "Whatever... I think that's everything...
 Okay, let's see if any of that was worth keeping."