Several Years

Lately, all I feel is pain
 Feels like my heart doesn't beat the same
 I wanna give up, and I just feel stuck in a life that I know I cannot change
 I'm really lonely and feel drained
 Sometimes I feel like a mistake
 I just sit and dwell in my trauma
 My life's full of problems, I feel like I might break
 Tried to move on, but I just can't
 Breakdown after breakdown and some days
 I wish I could run away just to escape
 And feel at ease even if it means one day
 Where did my life go wrong?
 I was a happy teen, and now I'm an adult
 Who's sad as hell and always at a loss
 No one could tell I'm drowning in my thoughts
 I'm still lost tryna find purpose
 After all these years, I'm still searching
 Hope you forgive me for being a burden
 Self-love is something that I'm still learning
 And I know I lie when I tell you I'm fine
 'Cause nobody knows I'm struggling inside
 Sorry if you see me cry
 It's just I finally realized
 It's been several years
 Since I felt okay, I'm losing my way and
 It's been several years
 Since I've been on meds, I still feel depressed and
 It's been several years
 Since I felt alive, there's no tears to cry and
 It's been several years
 Since I had a friend, they came and went
 Lately, I feel so depressed
 Tried to get help, but I'm still a mess
 I don't ever rest, I guess I'm stressed
 Got my head down, hands gripping on my neck
 Did I take my last breath?
 Did I walk my last step?
 I'm alive, but inside I am dead
 Look, I lied, I'm not fine 'cause my mind is a wreck
 I saw pictures of me in elementary
 I don't remember teachers ever telling me
 I'd be an adult who senses people's energy
 Being an empath attracts those who lack empathy
 When I look back, my past shows me bad memories
 Plus, it's so sad, I had to withstand everything
 All for my last ex, damn, thought you'd stand next to me
 You stabbed my back, and that hurt me bad mentally
 It definitely changed me, but I forgive you
 I understand now that you had your own issues
 Your fear of abandonment really convinced you
 That you weren't enough for the love I would give you
 I tried, but I broke myself tryna fix you
 And I feel hurt that you couldn't commit to
 Me or the love I would give you
 Nobody knows what I been through
 It's been several years
 Since I felt okay, I'm losing my way and
 It's been several years
 Since I've been on meds, I still feel depressed and
 It's been several years
 Since I felt alive, there's no tears to cry and
 It's been several years
 Since I had a friend, they came and went