PLASTIC/TAPE 4

Yesterday the local flowers were barely open
 But with the sunny skies this morning they're open
 And happy to share some smiles with us
 We got a bright sunshiny day kicking off in the morning hours
 Into the afternoon with light clouds rolling in as we approach dinner hour-
 Ugh, at this hour?
 Let's take a look at the charts
 We have temperatures at 6 degrees up in Claireheights
 Traveling down into the south we start to see double that
 At 12 degrees for both Claireville and Clairecenter
 Oh, another gift?
 Current wind speed in the area is sitting at a smooth 6.6kmh
 Who the fuck is Larry?
 -heading west, expect some nice cloudy scenery while you folks cool off in the evening
 For most people daytime high today will be sitting at 12 degrees
 Tomorrow, expect to see an increase in cloud count
 As the vacuum carries us down towards a gentle 6 degree peak
 Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and all the rest
 This week is looking like another beautiful 7 days
 This is Jill Taylor with the weather
 And remember Claire, don't open that package!
 Huh?
 Hello
 Fuck
 Come on
 Wew
 We fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu
 Ah-ah
 WE FUCKING LOVE YOU TO DEATH
 BUP
 DEATH
 W-We w- w-we-w-w-w-w-w-w-w
 We fucking love you to deuhliluioiui deaaadeaaadeaa
 Fu-fu-fucking love you to deaaa we-we
 (We fucking love you) We vi
 (We fucking love you t-)
 (We fucking love you) Stay back
 We fucking love you to
 D-D-D-D-D-D
 Honey, I'm home!
 Oh, what else is on?!
 Don't open that package!
 Give it up for your host, Pete Bradburn
 And welcome back everybody to "Don't Open That Package"!
 I'm your host, Pete Bradburn and I'm here with Claire who's about to spin the Wheel of Fate
 How are you feeling?
 I'm good
 You know, tending to my collection
 How are the kids, Pete?
 Good, good
 Their gums are a little sore, but they'll get over it
 Didn't we all?
 Well, Claire, are you ready to spin the Wheel of Fate?
 Ready as I'll ever be!
 And who would've guessed, we have a winner!
 Claire will NOT be opening the package today
 But she WILL be going home with some shiny new ribbons!
 Oh my god!
 This is the... sixth time Claire has won 'Don't Open That Package'
 We'll be back after commercial
 This Saturday night, don't forget to watch 'The Godfather's Dentist'
 I'm the Godfather and this is my dentist
 Canada's best Italian teeth grinding celebrity show
 We got a big shipment comin' in tomorrow!
 Oh no, I forgot the boxes!
 This season, featuring American white rapper, Staple God
 You and I both know that we were supposed to get those teeth to the boss guy ages ago, alright?
 I'm trying my best, you don't understand!
 You know what happens when you mess with the big boss
 And if you don't hold up your side of the deal
 There's gonna be trouble for both of us
 While Luigi is all smiles, Staple God is in the hot seat from the big boss
 If he doesn't get those molars to me by the end of the night
 He knows what happens
 And if any near under quota when they go to weigh it in
 You know what happens
 Eh, but my spin drill machine, it-a broke-a!
 Look! I'm tired of the excuses man
 Will he get his spin drill in gear?
 Or will the big boss be sending him down the root canal to failure?
 Think I'm gonna add him to the list and send him down the root canal to FAILURE
 Youse thinks you a tough guy?
 I ne-
 Do you know how much money you owe me?
 N-n-n, well
 I'm the boss!
 W- ah-
 Is there anything you can do?
 You, you go-, you gotta do something if you wanna keep this position
 Uh, we-
 Do something for me, what can you do?
 Uh, I ca- I can beatbox
 Wanna hear me beatbox?
 This Saturday night at 7:30
 Only on Clarity TV
 Exclusive!
 What does it feel like to be pure? (Pure)
 Feel the buzz of Epsilon Cream Soda (bubbly!)
 Bubbly (bubbly)
 Fresh (fresh)
 Crisp (crisp)
 A new sensation for your taste buds (a new sensation for your taste buds)
 Our unique hydrogen peroxide whitening agent targets plaque and tartar build up
 Making your teeth more prime for delivery than ever!
 Epsilon Cream Soda
 Taste the love
 Mmm-mmm-mmm-aaa-aaa-aaa-aooo-ooouhhh-blublu
 Blublublublublu-uhh-ru-brubrlublu
 Blublublublublublublublbublu-aohhh!
 Mm, mm, ay!
 Chubby soda!
 Chubby soda!
 -Ry! Larry! Larry! (Oh shit, there h-)
 Fuck Tamagotchis, bi-
 Oh, you made a-
 You're listening to OMNI Radio
 (One-O-Two-point-Five-O-Five-O-Five-O-One O-Five-O-One-O-Five)
 In the mix!
 OMNI Radio
 O-OMNI Radio
 OMNI Radio
 You just listened to "cold outside" by HELVETICAN (Helvetican)
 In the mix, twenty-four-seven
 N-No limit radio
 Bringing you the latest in-
 Bass! Bas-
 (Aaaaa hahahahahahaha!)
 OMNIPONY
 Including sounds from the Radio Demon!
 Strike infinity!
 The dopest
 Sonic palette l-l-l-limitless!
 Refresh your senses
 Reset your life!
 Destructive force of OMNI Radio
 Alright, and up next we have six impala & Willy Crooks' "KEEPITINSIDE" on OMNI Radio
 O-OMNI Radio
 OMNI Radio
 K-k-k-k-k-keep it inside
 Yuh, keep it inside
 Keep it inside, uh
 Keep it inside
 Keep it! Inside! (Woo!)
 KEEPITINSIDE (keep it inside, yeah)
 KEEPITINSIDE (keep it inside, yeah)
 KEEPITINSIDE (keep it, yeah)
 Keep! It! In! Side!
 What did you see?
 I saw God, and the world doesn't revolve around us
 There are others
 Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, uh, milli-
 Fuck it
 Hm? What the fuck?