If Life Is a Gift, It's in Very Poor Taste

I gave all I had to a fantasy
 Now my only desire is to quiet my mind
 My future will never appeal to anyone
 When I'm alone in my chair
 I swear
 Never again
 Will I trust anyone
 Fear is defined when your back's against the wall
 Nobody wants to admit they're wrong
 We all want to win
 Without confidence
 Without trust
 Love is counterfeit
 Fear decides who's wrong or right
 Where do you think your lover goes
 When you're gone
 Where do you think those lips end up?
 It's you against your heart
 Don't you ever stop to wonder why you always wind up alone
 Because your value is low
 Don't you question why you sexualize death
 She reminds you of home
 While life keeps breaking your heart
 Came on the back of the magazine
 My only desire is to have no desire
 All I want is to stop breathing
 I'm down on my knees
 I suck it down... suck it down
 Without conflict
 Without pain
 Love is saccharine
 Fear provides an active interest
 Compared to what you're going through
 It's a thrill
 Scared of where you might end up
 A weight against your heart
 It doesn't seem like anything will ever change for me
 At least not in a way that I can feel
 Something went wrong
 I never wanted to feel
 This paranoid or this paralyzed
 Everyone I love... lies
 Don't you ever stop to wonder why you always wind up alone
 It's because you don't value yourself
 Don't you question why you sexualize death
 She seduces you slowly
 While living tears you apart