Chili Lemon Peanuts

Scenic drive from Auburn to Diamond Springs
 American River sparkles under the bridge on this fine day of spring
 To the Sutter's Fort where they discovered gold to the right rolling vineyards and apple orchards
 I just passed the bridge and the sign for the town Cool
 No, but that sign was the last for the Tim Mooney ever took
 Before he left the world back in Nevada City
 It was the summer where we cried for his wife and his daughter Dixie
 Second day of April home still decorated Christmas-y
 The front lawn's been cut and the backyard has a fallen tree
 Tomorrow my yard guy's gonna get back there and cut it to pieces
 And on the floors, an old Perloid accordion made by Honer
 Three gas lamps, two antique, and the other [?]
 And I'm out here and it feels good
 (In this moment) In this moment
 Writing words on my big, black Victorian wrap-around porch
 Next we gotta be leaving maybe slightly but not so sadly gonna see Manny Pacquiao fight against Timothy Bradley
 Where I predict Manny will lose by decision, suffering him to the fourth, five brains bashed in, his hangarounds keep winning
 Then I'm going down to New Orleans for Gulf Coast oysters
 That's right, baby, I'm living my dream
 For the first moment I ever picked up guitar I knew my life would go down a different road than the kid next door
 I hear the birds outside tweet, tweet, tweeting
 And the cars along the highway off in the distance
 I hear an owl up in the tree hoot, hoot, hoot, hooting
 I hear a Spanish radio in the basement talk, talk, talking
 I smell the sardine can from the meal I've just eaten
 Gonna put this pen down, stare off into the sky, dreaming with my heart is the world's biggest smile
 For the hell of it I'm gonna read a random passage from the Bible
 It's been in this house since the first I owned it
 It was laying open, swear I'd never touch it but my housekeeper picked it up and closed it
 So here we go, gonna read just a bit of it
 Then look off into the pines and let my mind drift
 Chapter 9, St. Luke
 Christ sends forth his apostles, feeds five thousand with five loaves, is transfigured and casts out a devil. Then calling together the twelve apostles, he gave them power and authority over all devils, and to cure diseases. And he sent them to preach the kingdom of God, and to heal the sick. And he said to them: Take nothing for your journey; neither staff, nor scrip, nor bread, nor money; neither have two coats. And whatsoever house you shall enter into, abide there, and depart not from thence. And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off even the dust of your feet, for a testimony against them
 And going out, they went about through the towns, preaching the gospel, and healing everywhere
 So there I was, I read a part of the book of Jesus
 Now I'm eating sunflower seeds and chili lemon peanuts
 Sipped on a bottle of Glacéau smartwater
 And fell asleep until from upstairs my girl woke me up when she hollered
 12: 45 AM
 SNL, Gwen Stefani, and the short actor guy actor, what's his name?
 We are the beautiful dead and the beautiful night
 I love my girl and my home and this miracle of life
 1: 04 AM, Vdara Hotel
 Room 14015, April 9, 2016
 Our day started today with many kisses
 You were on your way out the door to Southern California 'til the fourteenth
 And I was on my way to Las Vegas, then to New Orleans
 When you said bye and closed my apartment door behind you
 A heavy feeling fell upon me, it hit me in a very real way
 That we'll live the rest of our lives together
 And that gives me so much happiness and comfort
 But it also hit me harder than ever before that one day we'll say goodbye for a final time
 Every day we get closer and closer to death
 I have no illusions of an afterlife
 And have no idea how much longer I have on this planet
 Or what my quality of life will be in five, ten, fifteen years
 Where will our final goodbye be? What condition will I be in?
 And how will your health be? Are we even sure we'll be in the same place when one of us has to go?
 I don't like goodbyes
 I've had enough last goodbyes with people to know that it's the most painful emotion in the world
 I don't want to live for eternity, life is filled with too much sorrow
 My mind keeps flashing to a woman I saw recently
 Of her and her son asleep in the car on the Tenderloin on a very hot day
 They were in a tollway zone and looked to be completely passed out
 She had a big map open on her lap
 But I knocked on the door and though she couldn't speak to me she was okay
 My biggest hope in life is that you are beside me when I die
 I've lived many lifetimes in forty-nine years
 But the best time of my life is of my days and years spent with you
 I'm getting older and my stomach is bloated and feels off
 I burp too much, I'm that middle-aged guy with a gut that I never thought I'd be
 And here I am in Las Vegas
 Family men with bellies bigger than mine are walking around with Guns N' Roses t-shirts
 My elevator was shared with people who've arrived from the Philippines to see the Pacquiao fight
 How many more times will I fly to Las Vegas?
 I saw Pacquiao when he was rising
 In San Francisco in 2000 at Bill Graham
 Now he's thirty-seven and this might be his last fight
 My money is on Bradley to win by a decision
 That's why I'm here, to see what may be Manny's last fight, if in fact he does win
 I'm getting older and Las Vegas is as wild as ever
 But I'm tired and I hear the hum of a small refrigerator
 My mind and my eyes are fading
 Vdara Hotel, 1: 03 PM, April 9th
 Meeting Tony in the lobby at 2: 00 PM for lunch
 Just turned on CNN
 "Paris terror fugitive is hitman in Brussels bombing"
 I woke up at about 9: 00 AM
 Terrible nightmare that Caroline and I were being followed by this creepy lizard-y-looking plastic surgery guy I saw on the plane yesterday
 He was following us to a hotel
 But I was diplomatic, turned around, and told him we'd meet him on the balcony of some bar nearby
 When we arrived and talked to him, he started throwing insults at me
 And I knocked his drink out of his hand and into the street
 He stayed there unfazed
 Then I grabbed him by his neck, lifting him, pushing him almost, but not quite, over the balcony
 I told him to go fuck himself and to stay the fuck out of our lives
 He finally shut his stupid mouth
 And as we left, Caroline told me that I was good with dealing with creeps
 That was the end of the dream
 April 10, seat 2E, United Airlines, Las Vegas to New Orleans
 The fight didn't go as I thought
 To me, the math added up to Bradley winning by a decision, if it went the distance
 But Bradley was knocked down twice and lost
 Bradley had a few moments and I jumped up out of my seat, threw my fists in the air, and got pumped up with excitement
 But Manny was faster and countered him
 Manny was the best fighter that night
 We were in seat 19B, right where the fighters entered and exited
 I felt bad for Bradley when he passed
 His trainer Teddy Atlas looked deflated, yet stoic at the same time as he exited
 Manny's mother and his wife were all smiles when they exited
 I sat in my chair for a long time after the fight, hemming and hawing about the defeat
 I owe money on my lost bet
 The fight hadn't gone as I predicted
 And that's life