dwell on the guilt of saving myself

All my life I made mistakes about the days
 We stayed up late too drunk to try to numb the pain
 We didn't treat each other nicely
 Didn't read the room precisely
 Oh well
 You said you'd promise to love me just the same
 But all you did is make me feel ashamed
 Never meant to say those things while I was high
 Thoughts keep me up at night
 Sharing feelings while we're fried
 Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
 When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else
 And the sick loves the sick, but I'm sick of the dying
 Where's the shame in wanting to get out?
 Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
 All the while I sit and smile
 'Cause they're my friends, right?
 They deserve the hype, right?
 Deserve me staying up all night, right?
 Like when you told me you'd be there for me
 Sending concerning texts about my ex
 Blank checks never spent for the sake of love and context
 Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
 When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else
 And the sick loves the sick, but I'm sick of the dying
 Where's the shame in wanting to get out?
 Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
 Everybody knows now
 Can't keep my friends 'round
 I got a sore throat from screaming at 'em too loud
 Yeah, everybody knows now
 Can't keep my friends 'round
 I got a sore throat from screaming at 'em
 Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself
 When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else
 And the sick loves the sick, but I'm sick of the dying
 Where's the shame in wanting to get out?
 Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself