Ted Fucking Williams

Everyone's so kind and humble
 Don't you know that I can see right through it?
 Keeping all their comments down
 You know it ain't a boast if you can do it
 And everyone says "Say hey"
 And everyone says "Did you see that kid play?"
 I've got to give the kid a hand
 But there's nothing that he can do better than I can
 I'm Ted Fucking Williams
 People say it's hard to like a man
 Who doesn't fail and show he's a human
 But failure's not a sign of grace
 It only means you don't know what you're doing
 And everyone says "Hey, Mick"
 Mantle this, Mantle that, it makes me sick
 It's just so hard to see
 Why do they like him better than me?
 I'm Ted Fucking Williams
 And everyone says "Hey, Duke"
 Like everything I did was some kind of fluke
 I gotta give the Duke a hand
 But there's nothing that he can do better than I can
 I'm Ted Fucking Williams