Rambling Rover

There are sober man aplenty
 And drunkards barely twenty
 There are men of over ninety
 Who have never yet kissed a girl
 But give me a rambling rover
 From Orkney down to Dover
 We'll roam the country over
 And together we'll face the world
 There are those who claim enjoyment
 Of merciless employment
 Their ambition this deployment
 Since the minute they left the school
 And they scrape and save and ponder
 While the rest go out and squander
 See the world and rove and wander
 And they're happier as a rule
 I have roamed through all the nations
 Took delight in all creation
 I've enjoyed a wee sensation
 When the company did prove kind
 When parting was no pleasure
 I drank another measure
 To the good friends that we treasure
 For they always are on our mind
 If you're bent with arthritis
 And your bowels have got colitis
 You've galloping bollockitis
 And you're thinking it's time you died
 If you've been a man of action
 And you're lying there in traction
 You can gain some satisfaction
 Thinking Jesus at least I tried