Houston We Have a Problem

Better get the Xanax cause I think I'm in a panic
 And my brain is really getting fried
 The kids are getting dumber and it's really not a stunner
 Cause the evidence supports my find
 I mention German Measles cause my buddy's name is Weasel
 And the only word I found to rhyme
 Lately I've been thinking that this ain't my line of business
 And I'm just about to lose my mind
 I gotta tell you that the level of discourse
 Was pretty bad to start with and it's getting worse
 Par for the course
 Houston we have a problem
 And we're running out of time
 Houston we have a problem
 The kids are all out of their minds [2x]
 I wanna tend my garden while my girlfriend wears Eve Arden
 And she bitches that we got no dough
 Phillip's drinking whiskey with a stripper he got frisky
 Picked her up and fell and broke his toe
 My nerves are really shot and I've become unmanned
 And now I see I'm going pale beneath my tan
 Where's my Ativan?
 [Chorus]