My Perfect Cousin

I've got a cousin called Kevin
 He's sure to go to heaven
 Always spotless, clean and neat
 As smooth as you'll get 'em
 He's got a fur lined sheepskin jacket
 My ma said they cost a packet
 But she won't even let me explain
 That me and Kevin we're just not the same
 Oh, my perfect cousin
 What I like to do he doesn't
 He's his family's pride and joy
 His mother's little golden boy
 He's got a degree in economics
 Maths, physics and bionics
 He thinks that I'm a cabbage
 'Cause I hate University Challenge
 Even at the age of ten Smart boy
 Kevin was a smart boy then
 He always beat me at Subbuteo
 'Cause he 'flicked to kick'
 And I didn't know
 Oh, my perfect cousin
 What I like to do he doesn't
 He's his family's pride and joy
 His mother's little golden boy
 His mother bought him a synthesiser
 Got the Human League into advise her
 Now he's making lots of noise
 Playing along with the art school boys
 Girls try to attract his attention
 But what a shame, it's in vain, total rejection
 He will never be left on the shelf
 'Cause Kevin, he's in love with himself
 Oh, my perfect cousin
 What I like to do he doesn't
 He's his family's pride and joy
 His mother's little golden boy