Offend In Every Way

I'm patient of this plan, as humble as I can.
 I'll wait another day before I turn away.
 But know this much is true, no matter what I do,
 Offend in every way, I don't know what to say.
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 I'm coming through the door, but they're expecting more of an interesting man,
 Sometimes I think I can, but how much can I fake?
 I'll speak until I break with every word I say, offend in every way.
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 You tell me to relax, and listen to these facts,
 That everyone's my friend, and will be 'till the end.
 But know this much is true, no matter what I do,
 No matter what I say, offend in every way.