The Song For Phil Daoust

This is a song for Phil Daoust
 Occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust
 I never ever ever mentioned your name
 Or the review that you wrote, when I was new to this game
 But now the time has come
 I think I've dealt with my feelings at last
 I really wanna forgive ya Phil
 Yeah, I wanna put the past in the past-a
 Oh and as this is London Town
 I thought I outta take the opportunity
 Cause there's a pretty good chance somebody out there will know you
 Maybe they will pass on a message for me
 Just wanna say, Phil Daoust, occasional Guardian Newspaper journal-oust
 That it's been three years since you wrote it
 And time is very healing
 But I still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face
 And make your children watch while I force you to eat them
 Yeah, I wanna make your children watch you eat your own face-meat
 Ding Dang Ding Dang Dong
 This is my Phil Doust Song
 Everybody sing along
 Tra la la, la la la la
 I hope one of your family' members dies
 Phil, Ding Dang Dong
 I've written you this special song
 To help you get the attention
 You obviously, desperately lack
 And I know that you're a smart man
 And with such a fine mind, I guess it has to be hard
 To resist throwing narcissistic, intellectual tantrums in the supermarket isles of your self-regard
 Just wanna say, Phil Daoust
 I know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust
 While a deadline's always looming
 And the pressure to be entertaining
 So maybe you should quit and get a job that you'd be better at - like killing yourself, you fucking cunt
 Ding Dang Ding Dang Dong
 This is my Phil Doust Song
 Everybody sing along
 Tra la la, la la la la
 I hope something you love catches on fire
 Phil, ding dang dong
 I've written you this special song
 To show how far I've come along
 In my efforts to be more mature in the face of negative feedback
 You fucking poo-face