The Shoals Plane Mail Drop Letter

Well it's prom night
 I am all alone and man i feel so lame
 Across de gym, stands the girls of my dreams
 But she doesn't even know my name
 As i stare my heart skips a beat,
 she leaves me breathless i cant pretend
 I known that i can't offer her much
 But i sure beat her douche bag boyfriend
 You may never want me
 But my love for you is true
 So everywhere i go girl
 I'll be touching myself to you
 Ohh... I'll masturbate to you in the shower
 In the cafeteria during lunch hour
 Gonna play with myself in my parent's car
 (To you)
 Ohh... I'll masturbate to you on the beach
 In the dentists chair while he's cleaning my teeth
 I'll never see you again after tonight
 But i'll masturbate to you for life
 Don't dare you stare and judge me on how i express my love
 You can write poetry, me i'll rub and tug
 Ohh... I'll never hold you...
 Lay with you in the sand...
 Go life your life girl...
 Cause i'll being making love to my hand!!
 Ohh... I'll masturbate to you like a fiend
 On Martin Luther King day and during Halloween
 Stroking every single night of Hanukah
 (To you)
 Ohh... I'll masturbate to you over sea's
 On the eiffel tower and while meeting the Queen
 Honney go with him, i'll be alright
 Cause i'll masturbate to you for life
 Life is so lonely without you...
 There's only so much jerking one guy can do...
 But why this devotion?.
 I've wasted all my lotion...
 Baby i was blind... but now i can see!!
 Ohh... I'll masturbate as you grow old with me
 Every single birthday and anniversary
 In the delivery room as our first child is born
 Ohh... I'll masturbate to you and you alone
 Playing with our grandkids in our nursing home
 You're the one that i need i must have missed it somehow
 But i'll masturbate...
 And i'll masturbate...
 So i'll masturbate... To youuu...
 Right... Now!!