When You Are Old And Grey

[Spoken live introduction on Revisited:]
 [The most popular type of popular song is of course the love song, and I'd like to illustrate several subspecies of this form during the evening.First of all, the type of love song where the fellow tells the girl that although the years ahead will almost certainly destroy every vestige of her already dubious charms, that nonetheless his love for her will shine on forever through the years, you know. Another example of stark realism in the popular song.This particular example is called "When You Are Old And Grey,"and I'd like to dedicate it to anyone in the audience who is still in love with each other.]
 Since I still appreciate you
 Let's find love while we may
 Because I know I'll hate you
 When you are old and grey
 So say you love me here and now
 I'll make the most of that
 Say you love and trust me
 For I know you'll disgust me . . .
 When you're old and getting fat!
 An awful debility
 A lessened utility
 A loss of mobility
 Is a strong possibility
 In all probability
 I'll lose my virility
 And you your fertility
 And desirability
 And this liability
 Of total sterility
 Will leed to hostility
 And a sense of. futility
 So let's act with agility
 While we still have facility
 For we'll soon reach senility
 And lose the ability . . .
 Your teeth will start to go dear
 Your waist will start to spread
 In twenty years or so dear
 I'll wish that you were dead
 I'll never love you then at all
 The way I do today
 So please remember
 When I leave in December . . .
 I told you so in May